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Before loving anyone else , you have to love yourself. It will make you a better lover because you will not be hindered by self confidence issues. If you have problems loving yourself, then change yourself, build your self confidence by being a better person. Conquer all of your bad habits that make you self conscious, not that you will be expected to be perfect because perfect people do not exist.

When you want to start a relationship , be it romantic or platonic make sure you bring something to that relationship . Having nothing to offer will give you and the other person the sense that you are a small bloodsucking worm (leech). Work on giving as much as you take in all your relationships, and you will be set for success.

Loving someone means that they can hurt you, this is normal and okay and is almost inevitable, but if you want to have real love you need to allow yourself to be open with that person. Dont keep secrets from them , dont pretend to be someone you are not but instead give them the opportunity to know the real you.

Dont force love and dont try to speed it up. This will only create false feelings which drain you emotionally and leave you feeling empty and unsatisfied. You can’t rush love, but believe that it will come because it must certainly will, you just have to find the right person.
Respect someone you love and realise that the other person has their own wishes and desires, rights to privacy and dignity. If you can’t think these things about another person then you can’t love them. Try and eliminate jealousy in your relationship as it can break down trust and respect and create barriers.

When you love someone, you should always keep focus on their positive traits but if you focus on those things you dislike about them , it will only make both of you unhappy in the end.
If you want real love to build and grow you need to keep constant communication, you need to talk about real things that are affecting your lives and your actions. You need to talk about the problems you encounter with each other , create a conducive environment where the other person feels comfortable coming to you with their problems too.

In a good relationship, dont hold grudges as this will only make your life worse instead learn to forgive and move on when the other person hurts you and also forgive yourself when you have made mistakes, all you need to do is take the lessons from those experiences and make the relationship better.
Help the other person to achieve their dreams and goals because you believe they deserve it. Love is not only about kissing and hugging , it is about being there when someone needs you and helping them unselfishly.

So what i’m try to say love is all about understanding, commitment and devotion. It’s like mathematics where you follow the rules , be calculative and use the formula, you will conquer it all.


@Nkiru Oddy Ogbu

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